What if?
by Hmm I'm thinking
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ALLEGIANT! What if Tris didn't die? Story from when Tobias gets back from the Chicago experiment and hears Tris is in the hospital. Rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

**From Tobias' point of view when he comes back from the Chicago experiment as if Tris didn't die. I do not own any of the characters they are all Veronica Roth's (Updated as left a few mistakes sorry)**

Sitting in the truck breathing easy we did it, we saved everyone and I gained my mother back that sweet smile that I only have when I'm with Tris creeps on to my face, things can get back to normal now me and Tris can lead a life of peace in which we both deserve. Suddenly I remember Tris has lost her brother today my sweet smile slides of my face and the cold revere returns, she's going to need me more than ever. She tells herself that Caleb is dead to her that when he betrayed her he was no longer her brother but I know deep inside she yearns for that brother that she once new and now she will never have him again for her I'm going to be strong, I'm going to be the one who tells her everything is alright, I feel almost selfish having my mother back when Tris has no family left at all, These thoughts consume me and i slowly drift of in to the darkness of sleep with the soft tires beneath me humming me a lullaby.

I awake to Christina nudging me 'Tobias we're here' my eyes slowly open I'm groggy from sleep but the thought of seeing Tris gives me the jolt to get completely awake. The compound looks eerily quiet without the array of guards surrounding the front, Amar pulls to a holt and we all jump out. 'damn it's cold' is all Zeke manages to say with a slight slap to his arm by his mother with a distasteful look. But he's right the air here is colder than Chicago the crisp snow on the ground aches under my feet as I stride willingly to the compound entrance. Suddenly I get a wave of worry I don't know why but it feels like something's wrong and my gut says Tris!

I pick my pace up into a run and can hear Christina asking what's wrong but I ignore her pleas I need to find Tris. I almost ram right into Cara. 'Hey watch it, I'm not a battering ram' she says bitterly with a face of blue and black. 'Where's Tris? where is she?' I all but scream. Cara's face smooths and I prepare myself for the worst. 'Four calm down, she's ok... Well for now she is, she took Caleb's place...' Anger rages within me 'She did what for that lying...' Cara stops me in my tracks 'Hey calm down she knew Caleb wouldn't survive the death serum so took her chances and she did great ok, so shut up and listen' I never did like Candors but I know she just wants the best for all of us. 'She got through the death serum and managed to turn on the memory serum but not before David made and appearance and um shot her' Cara says in the sincerest of ways. My heart stops Tris shot I knows she has been before but she fights through it she's always here to see me, how stupid am I, of course she wouldn't let Caleb die for her, the abnegation in her won't let her. Why am I so damn stupid.

Once the others have made me calm down they take me to see Tris. She looks just as she did when she landed in that net: frail, weak but brave. She looks so young, dainty, beautiful even when covered in bruises and bandages. I take her hand that is swamped in the large paw that is my hand. She took two bullets one to her shoulder and the other to her abdomen the doctor told me, the latter was causing her the most trouble and the death serum has sent her into a coma, yet they've ensured me she'll be ok... In time.

I stay with her for what feels like an eternity whispering again and again how sorry I am for not being there and being stupid enough to leave her, suddenly Christina taps me on the shoulder and a jerk back to reality 'Sorry I didn't mean to startle you it's just they've decided to turn Uriahs machine off now I thought you might want to be there' she says softly. I rise on. to my stiff legs and kiss Tris's hand 'I'll be back soon, I promise' I say strongly so Tris knows I have hope in her.

We walk in silence Christina and I over to where I see a small gathering I recognise the angst on Zeke's face the tears silently falling down his face and it's all my fault. I push through the rest of the group to speak to him and his mom, they are silently watching Uriah's pale form the young boy I was sworn to protect 'Zeke, Hana I...I I'm so sorry, I know you must hate me to the depths of your soul, I was foolish and I know I can't even begin to ask for your forgiveness' I say, yet I know it will never be enough. 'Dear boy things happen I do not blame you for my son's injuries, i do not wish you to carry this burden, we are born and we die, If this is my Uriah's time then let it be' her words hit me like a bullet, the way she forgives me so easily. I glance at Zeke and I know the same thoughts are not in his head, that for Zeke it will take a long while.

We all watch as Zeke and Hana walk slowly and solemnly into Uriah's room and all hold hands, I believe they are saying a prayer I didn't even know they were religious. My head hangs low eyes feeling heavy as I watch the machine be turned off, I can't take any more and run back to my bunk. The cowards way out...

**If you enjoyed please review and comment so I know if you would like me to continue. Many thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thought I'd egg started on a chapter two, Tris wakes up in the chapter. Hope you enjoy :)**

It's been 3 days since I returned from Chicago and still there is no change with Tris, I can't take it the waiting the tiny faulter in her heart beats every now and then scaring me to death, the doctors say it's normal that the death serum is just making it's way out of her body but my wild mind can't help but think of it as something more sinister. I can't seem to sleep I lie aimlessly in my bunk thoughts taking hold of me both of Tris and Uriah, he's still managing to hold on however he's getting weaker everyday and we know he won't last much longer... life's cruel it takes what's most precious to you and damages it beyond repair. Zeke hasn't been able to talk to me since we've got back and I don't blame him, I feel as if I've cut myself off from every one else going into my own little bubble of misery 'Snap the hell out of it' I scold myself Zeke's going to loose a brother and Hana a son and what have you lost nothing! you've gained a mother and the love of your life is going to be ok! That's why I didn't belong in abnegation selfishness is still within me. Fine I'm going for a walk I need to clear my head... Again. I walk sluggishly through the halls with no regard of where I'm going or where I am to think of it, I just focus on my breathing in and out, in and out, in and...

I wake with a start I'm not in my bunk but in the family tree room, the room where me and Tris said our goodbyes. The thin beam of light gently touches my face and gives me a warm safe sensation, all I can think about is thank God I managed to get some sleep i feel more refreshed today's going to be a good day I can feel it.

I have a shower to wake me up fully and head back to the dorm with the first smile on my face in days. I walk straight to my bunk lie down and breathe in the fresh clean air of freshly laundered clothes. Then it hits me every one has a grim look upon their faces, I don't even have to ask I know it means Uriah's gone and that wipes the smile right of my face, I slowly walk over to Christina 'When did it happen?' I say trying not to let the tears leave my eyes. 'Early this morning Zeke and Hana were there when it happened, the funerals in three days, I'm sorry Four' with the last word she breathes heavily and leaves the dorm. Poor Zeke, Uriah meant the whole world to him but there's no point in me giving him a consoling word it would just make it worse he needs his time to grieve and that's what I'm more than willing to give him.

Once the news has settled in I head over to the infirmary where Tris is, I instantly smell the sterile floors and breathe in the scent of disinfectant. This is what gives me comfort at the moment it reminds me of Tris, my beautifully damaged Tris. As I'm at her door I see Caleb walk out, looks like he wants to make it up to her, to little too late. 'Tobias I heard about Uriah I'm sorry...' He says trying to be sincere 'What do you care Caleb I thought you liked it when people died' I say with a bitter taste in my mouth, I ram his shoulder as he passes I still blame him for what's happened to Tris. The sweet sound of her heart beat can be heard on the monitor the second I step foot into the room, I'm home again. I take my usual seat by her side and nonchalantly grab her calloused hand 'Hey sorry I'm late' I faulter 'Um... i thought I should tell you that Uriah died today, I know you've forgiven me but I can't help but blame myself Tris it's all my fault, Uriah, you all of it you're the most important person to me in the world Beatrice... What am I going to do?' my voice cracking on each word I'm answered by silence, i sigh. 'You can start by not calling me Beatrice' the small broken voice breaks the silence, my Tris my life she's back. 'Tris, oh thank God what do you need water meds any thing tell me...' I say panicky. She smiles that sweet warm smile at me 'I've got all I need right here Tobias, and it's not your fault I'm the foolish one I went instead of Caleb and it nearly meant I'd loose you' I can see the small tear travel down her left check I wipe it away as soft as I can. I sigh with relief she safe. She doesn't hate me. 'Tris as much as i hate the swine that is your brother, I understand why you did it, it's not because you are the bravest girl I have ever met, it's because you are pure of heart and you see the good in all people, you saw the good in me, and you completed me, Tris I love you' she correspondingly wipes the tear of my check and I laugh 'Since when did you start taking care of me Beatrice Prior' I say warmly through my tears. She gives me a warm smile back shifts so she is sat up and says the only words I needed to hear 'I love you Tobias Eaton'

**End of chapter two I hope you liked it next chapter will be about Uriah's funeral but will have lots of Tris and Tobias too. Remember to review. Thank you **


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